A Near Mouthful
by Louise McCrowe
Summary: A typical day in Kasumi's life.


A Near Mouthful  
  
by Louise McCrowe  
  
Kasumi walked around in the kitchen, gliding, almost, as she double checked on all the ingredients for dinner. She looked at the kitchen counter, going through the ingredients. Rice, potatoes, a few carrots, a cucumber and a sausage. The miso soup was already on the fire, cooking steadily. From the living room, the sounds of the television were clear. Since no one was really watching it, Kasumi had changed the channel to her tastes, since one of her favorite shows had already started.  
  
  
  
"And today's secret ingredient is... Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!"  
  
"Oh, FUCK!" came the challenger's reaction.  
  
  
  
Kasumi smiled. Kick his ass, Kenichi-chan She set the rice to soak in a pan, cleaned and cut the carrots, and looked at the cucumber. She ran her fingers up and down the length of it, feeling the bumps and stiffness. She quickly took a knife and sliced it into nice, thin slices. Taking one of the slices, she put it on the tip of her tongue, and rolled it around inside her mouth, feeling the delicate taste, before swallowing. The potatoes, ready for the final step, had white sauce dribbled over it. Now, for the sausage.  
  
She had picked it up in the market earlier today, not really knowing what she could do with it. She supposed she could just dice it and fry it, serve it as a side dish. She took the sausage in her hands, looking it over. It was pretty big, being thirteen inches in length. She whapped the giant sausage on her chin.  
  
What to do, what to do...  
  
If it was smaller and she had more of them, she could boil them, if she had some eggs, she could serve them together...  
  
She continued slapping the meat on her cheeks, thinking about it.  
  
It looked reaaaaally familiar. Kasumi had learned a lot from the videos that she confiscated from Nabiki's room, having watched them over and over and over. She was really impressed by her sister's tastes. Those videos had some major group action, mostly being about one woman and many men. Kasumi was more into regular stuff, like bondage, but who was she to judge her sister?  
  
She put down the sausage. She'd have to come up with a use for that later.  
  
  
  
"Fukui-San?"  
  
"Yes, Ota?"  
  
"I have just talked to Kenichi-san, and he other than bragging about how bad he'll beat this guy and laughing maniacally, there's not much to add."  
  
"Thank you, Ota."  
  
  
  
"Kasumi? Are you here?" came Nabiki's voice.  
  
"Here, Nabiki. In the kitchen."  
  
"Oh, well, good," Nabiki said, from outside the kitchen, "then I can change the channel!"  
  
Bitch. Can't even help out, can you?  
  
"That's fine by me."  
  
Kasumi checked on all the food again, cooking as it should be. Ranma walked in the kitchen, sporting his usual shirt and pants.  
  
"Hey, Kasumi," he politely said.  
  
"Hello, Ranma," replied Kasumi.  
  
Hm-hm-hm. What a hunk of man-meat  
  
Ranma took a glass, filled it with milk, and started to drink from it. About midway through it, he started to start at the sausage uncomfortably, not escaping Kasumi's notice.  
  
"Ranma? Is everything fine?"  
  
Ranma took a drink from the milk, and said "Yeah, Kasumi. I'm fine," and kept on drinking.  
  
Kasumi looked at Ranma, at the sausage, and back at Ranma.  
  
"Say, Ranma..."  
  
"What, Kasumi?"  
  
"Ranma, how big is your cock?"  
  
Ranma choked, spurting milk everywhere.  
  
And THAT looks like one of those videos that I confiscated from Akane.  
  
"DON'T YOU START AS WELL!" shouted Ranma, who left the kitchen in tears.  
  
Tenchi was just at that time passing by the kitchen, just in time to see Ranma running out, sobbing, to his room.  
  
"What did you do to him, you witch!" Tenchi cried, and then ran after Ranma.  
  
Kasumi waited until the wailing ended, and went back to contemplating the sausage dilemma. She had finally decided on something she hadn't done in a long time, when the phone rang. Kasumi waited for Nabiki to pick it up, but after letting it ring for quite a while, went to the living room to check on the situation. The center of the room was one large scorch mark, with the furniture around it remarkably intact, the Teletubbies playing on the TV set. Next to the phone was a note, which Kasumi read.  
  
  
  
'Off in a crossover fic. Bbiab. --Nabs.'  
  
  
  
Oh, just fucking great. Kasumi looked around the room. No way in hell am I cleaning this shit up. I'll just say Ranma did it again.  
  
Kasumi then turned her attention to the telephone, which still hadn't stopped ringing. She picked up the receiver.  
  
WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--  
  
"WHOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"  
  
--UUUU--  
  
"--AAAA--"  
  
--UUUU--  
  
"--AAAAT?"  
  
--UP. Hey, What's happ'ning, yo?  
  
"Nuttin. Just hanging. What about you?"  
  
I gots me a woman giving me some oral right now, she ain't half-bad.  
  
"A'ight. Just as long as you remember whose bitch you are, Dr.T."  
  
Always on my mind.  
  
Kasumi hung up, changed the television back to its old channel, and skipped back into the kitchen.  
  
  
  
"Shinichiro-san?"  
  
"Yes, Kenji?"  
  
"You'll be sorry when I get back up there, you little prick!"  
  
"Thank you, Kenji."  
  
  
  
Kasumi, back in the kitchen, turned down the heat on the soup, which was starting to overflow. She looked at the offending sausage and took it, placing it's tip on her mouth. She tilted her head back, shoving the rest of it down.  
  
Now, the hard part  
  
She tilted her head back to normal position, feeling the sausage resist a bit, and the strain on her throat. In the past, she could take monsters like this for a very long time before she actually had to get a breath of air.  
  
"Kasumi?"  
  
Uh-oh  
  
"Kasumi?" Akane asked once more, "do you know what happened to Ranma? He's locked in his room, moaning and grunting, and won't let me in."  
  
"Nnmown" mumbled Kasumi, with a smile on her face.  
  
"What? Kasumi, are you OK?"  
  
Kasumi strained visibly, and after a very audible gulp, opened her mouth and said, "Of course, Akane, thank you for asking. Dinner's ready." 


End file.
